What I learned on r/askAGP (TheAGPrick)
This is a great community, with several regular contributors who are highly intelligent, honest, and caring. We have carved out a unique niche in Reddit's trans community as a safe place to discuss autogynephilia (AGP), which is defined as the attraction to the thought of oneself as a woman.
We are also unique in the way that trans women, detrans males, and AGP males are all present and all welcome to join in the conversation. Everyone here gets along very well, because we all share one thing in common: we all have AGP.
You were able to refuse to accept all the anti-AGP rhetoric that permeates throughout the trans community, because AGP connected with you. Most of us connect with AGP in such a strong way that we have no doubt it is a real condition. There are few medical conditions like AGP, where people deny that it exists, and information about it is actively suppressed.
We are not self-hating AGPs. This community is positively geared towards acceptance, and healthy lifestyles for people with AGP
Dr. Ray Blanchard is not a transphobic quack that has been discredited.
That exact statement is echoed on Reddit just about every damn day in the mainstream trans subreddits. The fact of the matter is that repeating a rather ill informed opinion over and over again will not make it true.
Dr. Blanchard's research has helped numerous men in the 30+ years since he first developed the AGP typology. I know that the first time I read about AGP, it was like a door opened for me. For the first time in my life, I felt like I understood my sexuality, instead of being completely confused by it. I no longer felt like an outcast with a perverted fetish, and I embarked on a journey to self-acceptance and self-improvement. r/askAGP is here to help foster those feelings of self-acceptance and self-improvement, for all of our members.
Dr. Blanchard does not hate trans people, which is nothing short of amazing, considering the uncalled for hatred generated towards him every today. Blanchard has always been an ally for trans women, and was one of the first doctors to speak out in support of allowing AGPs to transition. Before Blanchard's typology, HSTS were known as Primary Transgender and AGPs were Secondary Transgender, and it was considered medical malpractice to help AGPs transition.
There is nothing wrong with having autogynephilia.
Being AGP does not make you a dirty fetishist, and being AGP does not mean you are not transgender. Being transgender is a choice that a person makes; someone becomes transgender only after they begin the process of transitioning. Many men with AGP choose to transition into women, and many other choose not to transition. In my opinion, this is the best community on Reddit for males questioning whether or not they want to transition, simply because we do not automatically tell everyone that they should transition.
Having AGP doesn't have to be a curse. Because there are so many different variances involved, it can be an awesome experience for one person, and a never-ending hellscape for another person. This community promotes living with AGP and finding ways to cope without transitioning, before actually transitioning. Somehow this concept is lost on every other trans subreddit; however, that also means you won't find people glorifying transition very often here either.
Autogynephilia is not a normal part of female sexuality. I don't understand how anyone could actually believe this, unless they were a male with no concept or understanding of female sexuality. If anyone actually believes this, we can get together and I would be happy to explain the differences between male and female sexuality. The basic idea is that men are disgusting. That's just how we are; when a woman understands for the first time how gross men are, they are a bit shocked by it - and highly disturbed. Women do not have fantasies about themselves the way AGP males do. Women are aroused emotionally, and AGP males that wish to live a typical heterosexual life would do well to learn how to arouse women, if they wish to have happy marriages.
There are different theories behind what causes autogynephilia.
Blanchard proposed that males with AGP have an Erotic Target Location Error (ETLE); the idea behind the ETLE is that heterosexual men that have AGP have inverted the object of their attraction inwards, towards themselves, as opposed to outwards, towards actual women. There is not very much substance in the ETLE hypothesis, and some supporters of Blanchard feel that it is the weakest part of his AGP typology. Those who support the ETLE hypothesis tend towards the belief that AGP is something that we are born with. Others speculate that AGP is something that a male may be predisposed to, and it can easily be triggered.
An alternative hypothesis for the cause of AGP is childhood sexual imprinting. There are two ways that this will happen. The first way is childhood emasculation trauma, where a young boy is humiliated and emasculated in a way that impacts them negatively. Emotional trauma happens when a child experiences an emotional state that is too powerful for the young mind to handle. The emasculation trauma will be processed by the brain through sexual imprinting, as opposed to being repressed. The human brain will process childhood trauma via sexual imprinting if it is able to, and can be observed in other forms of child abuse. This type of AGP will have a Male Emasculation Fetish (MEF). This means that they will be very masochistic and submissive, and enjoy being a sissy and forcibly feminized and humiliated. It can be hard to distinguish whether the MEF is driving the AGP, or the AGP is driving the MEF.
On the other side of the coin, AGP can also be caused by childhood emasculation that is a positive experience. For example, a young boy may be dressed like a girl by his older sister and her friends. The little boy may find this exciting, and stimulating in a way that his young brain is not quite ready to experience. This sort of "overstimulating excitement" the child experiences is sexually imprinted as well. This could very well be the way many fetishes begin, as most males have a fetish, and not all of them experienced childhood trauma. A young boy could start viewing his mothers high heels in a way that makes him feel this excitement and BAM a foot/heels fetish is sexually imprinted.
This community recommends transition as a last resort, rather than a cure for autogynephilia.
The community is split a few different ways when it comes to transition. The default position of r/askAGP is that other possibilities should be attempted and extinguished, before seeking out a gender transition. This is the default position because not only is it in opposition to the mainstream trans community, a stance that was/is sorely needed in the trans community. The idea of better alternatives to transitioning doesn't exist elsewhere on Reddit, but the reality is that the majority of self-diagnosed AGP males do not wish to seek transition. Many AGP males like the lives they have carved out for themselves as men, but simply do not have access to information about living with AGP without transitioning later in life. This is one of the main topics we discuss in this community.
Some of our members believe that most AGPs cannot transition successfully; therefore, transition should be avoided. There is a phenomenon taking place, where young males are transitioning into women without having ever heard about the concept of autogynephilia one during their transition. This is completely unacceptable, in the same way that the overall denial by the mainstream trans community of AGP being a real condition is completely unacceptable, and quite frankly, disgusting. This is a dangerous practice, and the trans community needs to understand that just because some members will accept that AGP is a load of malarkey without question, there will be other members that will feel the same overwhelming sense of connection and self discovery that I felt when I first discovered AGP. This cannot be reconciled with the fact that the trans community disingenuously coerces young men, that have obvious AGP tendencies, into transitioning. Honestly, that's fucking terrible!
Someone who is self-diagnosed with AGP and still wishes to transition will likely have a very successful transition and will not desist later. A trans woman that embraces the sexual aspect of her transition can really have a great experience. This is another strike against the trans community, for their inability to simply share all the available knowledge and resources with their community. Personally, I feel like a sexually-driven transition is the most valid reason to transition, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. As long as a person transitions for the right reasons, and stays true to themselves, they will be successful.
The intensity of gender dysphoria is highly variable amongst males with autogynephilia.
Not all heterosexual males that transition do so because of AGP. Like the majority of FtM transitions, a good percentage of MtF are driven by gender dysphoria (GD) alone. Trans women who identify as Transmedicalists typically are part of this group in which some members have deemed themselves to be "actual trans women" as opposed to the "dirty fetishists" who are ruining the trans community by undergoing sexually-motivated transitions, in order to "feed the agp". The "actual trans women" are HSTS, which is a very small percentage of trans women - something that most in the trans community do not realize. HSTS could be an entirely different condition, because it does not resemble the symptoms felt by the other trans women who comprise the majority. I hypothesize that non-AGP trans women also experience GD resulting from childhood trauma. Unlike AGP trans women, these young boys did not experience an emasculating experience. Often times they have been more severely abused than their AGP counterparts. This abuse can result in internalized misogyny. These males are experiencing body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) which is manifesting itself as GD. Often times, these males will go through different phases of configuring their identity prior to transition, such as working out extensively, or getting pierced and tattooed regularly. These males are not in denial of their AGP, they are actually having a different experience.
AGPs experience varying rates of GD, and several factors contribute to this. A male with transvestic AGP may suffer from less dysphoria than a male with anatomic AGP, due to the desire of the anatomic AGP to have a woman's body. I theorize that AGPs with MEF will experience less GD overall, than their counterparts with the positively stimulating childhood emasculation, because the non-masochistic AGP males with have a much more intense desire to actually become women, which in turns, increases the intensity of their GD.
A lot of young men suffer GD as a result of the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO). They are worried that, by putting off transition, they risk the likelihood of their ability to pass. GD will likely be more intense for males that have masculine features which will seriously impact their ability to pass, such as height and large hands/feet. Young men who suffer with depression and anxiety will cycle their GD into this self-feeding loop of mental-disorders, which Generation Z is seemingly plagued by. One of the main contributing factors to GD is repressing AGP desires.
Those who repress their autogynephilic urges are at a high risk of transitioning later in life.
The most important thing that a male with AGP can do to avoid transitioning later in their life, is to not repress their AGP desires. The desire to feminize must be acted upon as much as not transitioning will allow. Gender dysphoria flourishes in those that fantasize about being women, without acting upon these desires in real life. If you do not want to transition, you must crossdress. If you have anatomic AGP, they make really nice, realistic breast plates in the entire spectrum of skin tones. This may not be as desirable as actually having tits, but consider this: those with physiological AGP will never realize their ultimate fantasies of becoming pregnant or menstruating. Even by transitioning, they will never feel the satisfaction of "being a woman". Remember, the desire to be a woman is driven by horniness. Transition would force you to live with this sexual fantasy 24/7, while also decreasing your libido, essentially leaving you chemically castrated. If that last sentence turns you on, remember that it won't stimulate as much if your libido is lowered via estrogen and hrt.
Many AGP males are turned on by ideas such as: forced feminization, pressing button and instantly becoming a girl, and transitioning MtF. Analyze your own sexual fantasies, and determine how much the idea of transition turns you on. Many trans women find that they still need to use the same transition fantasies that they used before they transitioned, in order to get off. When the idea of becoming feminized, or transitioning from a man into a woman, is such a huge turn on, why not consider living this fantasy all the time, as opposed to a serious choice of transitioning that you only get to make once? Make time every weekend to shave your entire body, and dress like a complete slut. Put on a chastity cage, become skilled with makeup application, and buy nice wigs. If you prefer to dress more classy, as an office secretary, or just a casual woman, do that. Do what you gotta do, and do it as often as you gotta do it. You will notice a decrease in your gender dysphoria when you regularly feminize yourself. Go out in public if you want to, you whore. DO NOT PURGE YOU STUPID HO.
By not transitioning, you have more control over your sexuality. You decide when you want to act upon your AGP fantasies. Being a woman full time is a lot of work, and maintaining it will take the magic out of the whole feminization process. Remember, you are turned on by being a woman because you are not one - that may or may not be an important aspect of your fantasy.
There are unique cases where the dysphoria is so severe, or the desire to live as a woman is so strong, that acting out on your fantasies while continuing to live your life as a man may not fulfill you. Some people are better off transitioning, of course. In this present era, however, it seems quite clear that a lot more people are changing their genders than is necessary.
Creating a virtual persona for your inner woman.
One of the most validating things you can do to live with AGP and avoid transitioning, is to succumb to the trans narcissism that is prevalent amongst AGPs while they explore their femininity. Essentially, living the life of a trans woman online, creating profiles on social media and building up a following, and online friendships. Most AGPs need to be validated by others, and we are fortunate to have a means of receiving that validation, on our time, and our way. I have an Instagram where I whore myself out, in hopes that I receive validation, or I get made fun of. Either way is a win. I like the way I look, without HRT and surgeries. I am fortunate in that I am a small man, and GAMP men find that attractive. A lot of AGP and GAMP men, myself included, are more turned on by the image of a man that has been sissified than a trans woman that passes so well she is indistinguishable from a cis female.
You can go so far as having an only fans account, or webcam on Chaturbate. You can pull a Contra Points and start a YouTube channel where you pretend to be a transwoman. I love having a lot of pictures of myself to look at. I know how selfish that sounds, but fuck it.
You don't need to actually transition to go to the glory hole at the truck stop dressed like a filthy whore and choke on flaccid dicks and pubic hair all night.
Finding a female partner whom you can be sexually submissive too, and open about your AGP.
This is the last point I will go over for this post, but the importance of this cannot be understated. I've noticed that some guys seems like they adhere to gender roles, and if they are not going to transition, they repress their femininity. They feel like they need to adhere to male gender roles, especially in the bedroom, by being the more dominant partner that leads sexual intercourse. If you want to live as a man with AGP, you need to make sure you will be sexually fulfilled. This is equally important to feminizing yourself. You must find a girlfriend that is compatible with your AGP and submissiveness. A good sign will be if she doesn't like giving you blowjobs or receiving anal sex. She is a keeper. If she is submissive in bed, no matter how cool she is, you need to end the relationship asap, or else you are just wasting your time and setting yourself up for failure.
You are a heterosexual male. Even though you are capable of being the woman in a heterosexual relationship with a real man, after you transition, you run the risk of not being able to experience a romantic bond the way you do with a female partner. Some trans women have this problem, some do not and are able to be romantic with a man. Either way, if you do not transition and start a relationship with a woman, you are able to validate your manhood in every aspect of the relationship except in the bedroom.
The key to making the ideal sex life a reality is through mastery of the female orgasm. You must educate yourself to be a great lover in bed, as it needs to be give and take. "She Comes First" by Ian Kerner is a great place to start, and if you have any questions about how to make love to a woman, feel free to ask me here or in PM. Being good in bed is a skill that every AGP male should possess, as submissive men are gaining a reputation as being the best in bed. If you are a giving, generous person and lover, this will be true.
Take your time to develop the perfect relationship for your lady.... and your, lady. This is a very magical relationship that is exceedingly hard to manifest once you transition into a woman.
Well, that's all I got for now. Goodnight, you AGPrinces(ses)
tl;dr if you don't pass at all before HRT, chances are you won't pass at all after you start HRT either. If you can manage to look sexy without any surgery or HRT, you don't need to commit to permanent changes to your body. You slut.
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