I know these guys, who are really great, awesome dudes. They are my best friends and we have known each other for over two decades, since middle school. While all of us are good, friendly guys who are all uniquely awesome in our own ways, we also all share the same difficulties when it comes to the ladies. I guess we are what some people would call incels… I don’t know why that is, it’s just something we all have had trouble with through out the years. Out of the five of us, three are still virgins, one had sex one time over a decade ago, and one had a girlfriend once that dumped him and he never really seemed to get over her… Yeah, I know: we’re pathetic. There’s no need to rub it in.
Well, recently, I guess some of my friends have been talking about this and I guess they are pretty fed up with the whole thing. So they all got together one night, without inviting me, and I guess they were so desperate to finally get laid that they decided it would be a good idea to dress me up like a girl and get laid that way. Of course they decided to do that to me; I am the smallest, weakest member of the group who also tends to be the butt of the joke more often than anyone else.
Well, we all get together once a week to have some beers and hang out. I sometimes have a problem controlling myself when it comes to alcohol, and they used this knowledge to their advantage a couple weeks back, and intentionally starting feeding me beers and getting me drunk. Then these assholes started acting all crazy; they pinned me down to the ground and tore my clothes off. I tried to fight them off, but they overpowered me. They put my dick in a chastity device and then pulled out a razor and some shaving cream. The razor burn I suffered after this was agonizingly awful, but despite that, I still haven’t received an apology from any of them. I haven’t received an apology for any of their reckless behavior lately, as a matter of fact!
They dressed me up like a girl, applied makeup to my face and threw a wig on me. Then they proceeded to do something that I still have a hard time believing. Honestly, I think that part of me doesn’t want to believe what happened next… it’s terrible. I thought these guys were my best friends, after all. What they did was they started to use me like a sex doll or something. They… gosh I don’t want to even repeat it, really, but they took turns pumping their dicks in my mouth and they all eventually climaxed… all over my face. I was in a state of shock after the whole event, and just between you and I, it was the most degrading and humiliating experience of my life…
… up until that point. I really wish I could still say that was the most humiliating experience of my life today, but unfortunately, that memory has been replaced already with even more horrifying ones.I can’t believe I thought these guys were my friends. They have been acting ridiculous ever since that night. I couldn’t begin to tell you why this happened, but ever since they sexually assaulted me it’s like they think they’re all ladies men now, or something. They’re acting like jerks ever since that night. They’re egos are all inflated; it’s like they believe that their all God’s gift to women now, or something! I have told them several times that - duh - I’m a guy, and in response they just laugh in my face. Not only that, but sometimes they will proceed to slap my ass, as well! These guys are huge creeps, man. Oh, and huge effing jerks, too!
Not only did they not apologize for what they did to me that night, but they continue to keep me dressed up like a girl and treat me like I’m a girl. Honestly, sometimes it seems like they actually think I’m a girl now. I’ve asked them to remove this chastity device several times, but no one seems to care. I feel like I’m invisible. As if it wasn’t bad enough that they continue to forcibly feminize me, they also decided - for some damn reason - that I look better as a little girl, and not an adult woman. So here I am, dressed up like a little girly-girl, feeling very embarrassed, and all they do is laugh at my horrible situation that they constructed for me… with their stupid, horny dicks. I just feel like - it’s like - the angrier I become and the more serious I get, the less seriously they seem to take me.
They continue to spank me without permission, grab me and bend me over and make out with me… and, I really don’t even want to say what else… but I guess I can just say that I am also no longer a virgin and leave it at that. I’m also no longer a man, apparently, because these guys all seem to be so much more confident with women the more they sexually abuse me. I thought we were friends, but I guess I’m just some piece of meat for them to stick their… stick their… pork swords in! I can’t decide if I’m more angry or humiliated, to be perfectly honest.
Oh - and the worse part of all of this - that I just found out about, actually, is that one of my so-called “friends” is apparently now talking to the girl that works at my job, that I have had a crush on for years. Can you believe that? I… I… well, I love her. I do! Don’t laugh at me, damnit, what the hell is even going on anymore?!?I wish it wasn’t the truth, but things have gotten even worse. My friends seem to have forgotten that I was ever a man to begin with, as I am now apparently “the cool chick” in our friend group. They keep having their way with me, despite my protests, and what’s more is that now everybody has decided that instead of pretending that I’m a little girl - which, by the way, is so disgusting and gross that these… these… dirty, rotten man-pigs think that’s sexy, t-to pretend that I’m a little girl, but now - now they decided that it’s even better to dress me up like a baby girl. I told them I didn’t want them to do that, but they just laughed at me… the same as they do when I tell them that I’m a man, and not even a girl. So now we’re all hanging out the other day, watching TV on the couch, and I’m dressed up like a baby girl. I’m even wearing a pull-up, that’s meant to be for baby girls. I told them I wasn’t gonna fit in it… but I did fit. I’ve never been so humiliated in my life as I was in that moment… and right then things took a turn for the worse.
You wouldn’t believe who walks on in through the front door, but my former best friend, holding hands with the girl from my work that I’ve always had a secret crush on! Can you even believe it? Apparently they are dating now, and the last thing I want to happen is that the girl who I love sees me like the way I was, dressed up like a dumb bimbo baby girl… but I know better by now than to think that the things that I want matter at all, or that anyone cares!
Anyway, she saw me right away, and couldn’t stop herself from having a good old laugh at my expense. She put her hand over her mouth, as if that would accomplish something. My jerk of a friend decided to join her in the fun of laughing and pointing at me and my misfortune. “Don’t worry,” she said, “I promise that I won’t tell anybody at work about this. It can be our little secret.” Then she blurted out “You look so pathetic!” as she started laughing uncontrollably once more. I could feel my face becoming beet red and I wanted nothing more in that moment than to not exist at all. That was the single most humiliating experience of my entire life…
… up until that point, at least. I hate to have to admit it and I wish it weren’t the truth but things only got worse after that.The next evening I had to go to work, and as I was walking up to the front door, I was experiencing all kinds of intense feelings about the whole thing. I was mad; I was sad and I was even glad… wait a minute, no - I wasn’t glad, but I sure was excited to finally be wearing men’s clothing again, for the first time in what seemed like a long while. Anyway, I pushed open the door and immediately I saw her - the girl that I loved - and two of my co-workers. She was showing them something on her phone and they were all having a laugh about it and… wait a minute… she was showing them a picture of me dressed up like a baby girl! “What is going on right now?” I shouted, feeling all flustered. This startled her and she quickly turned around to face me.
“Well,” she started nervously “I was just telling them the story about what happened yesterday, about how I had to change your diaper and -”
“You had to change what?!” I shouted out, feeling twice as flusterpated and dizzy as I had felt before I heard what I just heard her say.
“Yeah… don’t you remember?” she asked, with a look of concern on her face. “You know what, you probably don’t remember actually,” she continued, “you were really out of it after I walked in the house and you started peeing yourself… Yeah, when I walked in and you saw me it was like your whole entire face dropped, then your eye sorta bugged out of your head for a second, and then you started uncontrollably peeing yourself beyond what that baby diaper you were wearing could hold, so it started pouring out all over your legs and - I’m sorry - I.” She was trying to stop herself from laughing about it, and she was failing to control herself. I glanced at the two employees behind her, who were both staring at me with huge grins plastered across their faces.
She continued telling the story as I began to feel my blood pressure escalating. “The reason that it was so much pee was probably because, according to your friends, you had been drinking beers all day.” She glared at me in disapproval. “They told me about your drinking problem and I think they’re really worried about you. Anyway, after you finished peeing everywhere you just kinda went unconscious… likely due to a combination of excessive drinking and embarrassment.”
“Anyway, I ended up carrying you to the back room to change your soggy diaper and that’s when I took this picture of you. Do you remember what happened after that?” She asked me, grinning mischievously. With a look of pure terror in my eyes I shook my head frantically, as a physical manifestation of my anxiety rapidly beaded sweat across my forehead like raindrops congregating on a window sill to wait out the storm. “Well,” she continued, “after I finished changing your diaper, you regained a bit of consciousness, but you were only, like, half awake… and half still sleeping. Anyway, you started telling me that you loved me - that you were in love with me - and you had thought about me every single day since the one that you first laid eyes upon me. You told me that you and I should be together, and you seemed so sincere, but…” she paused briefly and looked me in the eyes. “You like to dress up like a baby girl for your buddies - which is really weird and creepy - but also, like, the most unattractive thing I have probably even seen in my entire life. I’m attracted to men, sweetheart. Actual men. Not you. Not at all.”
I felt my heart sink down to the pit of my stomach. My face burned with both intense anger and intense shame on top of total embarrassment. My blood pressure erupted like a volcanic queef as my insides boiled steam escaping through my pores. My eyes were shot with blood and twitching. I was gulping the air around me because I couldn’t breathe. I had so much to say, but the only strained words that managed to escape from my dry, cracked lips were “I thought you promised that you wouldn’t tell anybody at work.”
“I swear, these are the only two people I told anything to,” she responded defensively, as she gestured towards the coworkers with the perpetual shit-eating grins plastered on their mugs.
During that very same specific word for the exact measurement of time which had elapsed within itself, the office door abruptly swung open, and my boss stepped out with another coworker. “Well if isn’t piss pants the baby girl!” She said while looking directly at me and smiling.
“Hey,” said the other employee, “are you wearing a diaper right now?”
Despite the all-encompassing rage coursing through the essence of my being, I could feel myself becoming overpowered by my inner bitch, as my eyes welled up with tears and I started desperately choking back the urge to start crying, as I hissed back at him “No! I don’t have to wear diapers all the time, you idiot.” “Well, that’s unfortunate,” said my boss, “because it looks like you’re pissing yourself again right now.”
Oh no. I looked down, but I could already feel the warmth as the dark spot emerged on my crotch and quickly expanded outwards. That was the straw that something something camel. I started crying uncontrollably, just like I did as a child. I felt so miserable and ashamed. What am I - a total bitch-boy? Right then I wondered if I never became a man at all; I didn’t grow up like an adult.
Everyone was laughing hysterically at me and pointing at me. My face was covered in hot tears and clear liquid snot ran like rivers from my nostrils. A slobbering of drool flew out of my mouth as I squawked out “it’s cuz I’m incontinent from wearing so many diapers.” What the heck am I talking about? That is not at all what I would have liked to have said right then. Oh well. The only thing I could think of to do at that point was to run away. I yelled out “you guys are jerks!” like a total bitch before running directly into the wall and fracturing my nose.I proceeded to walk back towards the house. Surely this couldn’t be the most humiliated I’ve ever been, but I was quite certain that I had never before felt as angry as I felt then. I couldn’t wait to tell them all off at once. I was ready to put my foot down: I’m done letting them dress me up like a girl and I’m done being their little sexual toy. I’m just going to wear my guy clothes from now on and everything is going to go back to the way it was before all this started. We were all going to be virgins again and we were all going to forget any of this ever happened and we then everyone will be happy. That’s right. No excuses, no whining. I’m putting my foot down… gosh darn… and I’m digging my heels in. Aha!
As I approached the door I thought about all the nice men’s clothing I had in my collection. Clothing that I had spent good money on. I had never been as excited to wear those clothes before in my life as I was right then. I banged on the front door a couple times and one of my stupid asshole friends opened it.
“Oh. You’re here,” he said. “That’s awesome! We’re throwing a party tonight and people are already showing up and getting down. We actually just finished throwing all of your men’s clothing into the bonfire a few minutes ago.” “You did what…” I said, but my voice trailed off when I noticed the person walking past the doorway in the background. “Is that Ryan?” I asked. Ryan was another guy that we had gone to school with. He was always a bit of a good friend of ours, but also quite well liked and popular. He had chiseled good looks and it appeared that aging had been kind to him, indeed.
“Yes, that is Ryan,” my friend responded. “Apparently he heard about you being all girly lately and he was excited to come and see you for himself. He actually told me that he always had a bit of a crush on you since back when we were kids.”
“But… but, that doesn’t make sense,” I said, feeling quite flustered, “Ryan’s straight. He was always good at getting with the ladies… and I’m a guy.”
“Did you piss your pants, dude?” my friend asked, bringing me back from the distracting thoughts in my head. “Look, we should get you out of those smelly piss clothes so that we can throw them in the bonfire and get you ready for tonight. We decided that you’re going to be Little Bo Peep tonight.”
“Yeah, that sounds nice…” I responded, still distracted by my thoughts. I didn’t feel upset anymore. In fact, I couldn’t remember why I was upset about any of that stuff in the first place. The whole thing just seems ridiculous to me now. Wow, I feel confused. Derp.
A few hours later I was dressed up like Ho Peep and alone with Ryan in the bedroom. “You know what?” Ryan asked me, staring deep into my eyes, “I always had a crush on you. Even back in middle school, I remember thinking about how cute you were.”
“But Ryan,” I said, “you like girls… and I’m a guy.”
“Right…” Ryan said, and then he laughed a bit. Why is that so funny to everybody? I wondered. Anyway, the next thing I knew Ryan and I were making out with each other passionately. Wow… he was the best kisser ever. Things got hot and heavy after that and then the next thing I knew Ryan said “I wanna fuck you.”
…and fuck me he did. This was nothing at all like all those times my friends treated me like an inflatable sex doll and raped my orifices without my consent. This sex was absolutely amazing compared to that. Ryan was so passionate and he felt so good. This was the most amazing sex I had ever had in my life, and the funniest part about it is the fact that I’m straight. I don’t even like having sex with men. I can only imagine how amazing the sex will be whenever I finally do have sex with a woman. I’m sure it will be the most amazing sex ever… which is crazy, because Ryan feels so damn good inside of me. Suddenly I became aware of an orgasm that was slowly building up from deep within me. I realized that I hadn’t cum once since this whole debacle began the night they locked me in this chastity device that had remained locked in place ever since. Geez, that seems like it was a month ago if not longer… oh wow. I could feel the pleasure building into what I already somehow knew was going to be the best orgasm of my life… and then it happened and I exploded.
The next thing I knew… wait a minute, what the hell does that mean, anyway? “The next thing I knew”. Why do I keep saying that? Anyway, I opened my eyes. I was lying on the bed, alone. “Hey sleepyhead,” said Ryan cheerfully, as he popped his head out from the bathroom, smiling at me while brushing his teeth.
“What - what happened?” I asked, feeling somewhat dazed and just a tad bit confused.
“Well…” Ryan began, as he sat down next to me on the bed, “we were making love, and it was amazing. You started letting out these very sexy, very feminine moans from deep within you. You were really getting into it. You told me that you were going to cum, and I was ready to cum as well… and we ended up both cumming together at the same time. It was incredible… and you came super hard, too. So hard that your eyes just kinda rolled up in your head and you went unconscious… that was a few hours ago and you woke up just now, looking all cute.” Ryan then leaned over and gave me a kiss. “So, I gotta head out for a little bit, but I was thinking about coming back over later tonight and seeing you again. Would that be ok?”
I smiled and said softly, “That would be nice.” For the first time in this whole stupid story, I felt happy. :)I ended up realizing that being a girl isn’t so bad, after all. To be completely honest with you, I really don’t know why I was ever putting up such a fuss about it in the first place. The truth is that everyone says I am better as a girl, and everyone seems to like me a lot more. I have more friends than ever before, I am far more popular than ever before, and for the first time in my life people are actually attracted to me.
Honestly - and just between you and I - I am just way better at being a girl than I am at being a guy, and nobody laughs at me anymore, either. I realize that I am sacrificing all of the privilege I have as a white man living under the patriarchy, but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make, mostly because I have no idea what the hell it even is or was to begin with. I’m pretty now.
Oh yes, and the author wanted everyone to know that they should read this story in a British accent… because I’m British… now… I guess? Wait - oh fiddlesticks - I was supposed to tell you that at the beginning of the story, not at the ending. Oh crap, oh crap… that’s not good… Geez, I sure hope that you read Tumblr posts backwards so that you get that message before it’s too late…
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