How to Manage AGP without Transitioning

The difference between HSTS and AGP starts in the womb, with prenatal androgenization of the brain.  In utero, all fetuses begin as female.  The formation of male genitalia and the androgenization of the brain occur separately and at different stages of fetal development.  In HSTS, the androgenization of the brain does not occur.  This means that HSTS are born with the brain of a female baby.  HSTS are also born with an innate female sexual orientation, meaning that they are sexually and romantically attracted to men and masculinity.

AGP is not "normal female sexuality", but HSTS literally is just that.  HSTS develop childhood gender dysphoria because they have female - or non-androgenized - brains.  This doesn't mean that children with gender dysphoria should transition; approximately 80% of the time childhood gender dysphoria will resolve itself naturally over time, and will disappear completely once the brain is fully developed and matured (sometime around age thirty).  The onset of puberty is when we begin manufacturing the hormones associated with our biological sex.  Testosterone continuously masculinizes the brains of biological males, and for most HSTS the eventual alignment of gender identity and biological sex resolves the gender incongruence.

The difference between Early Onset Gender Dysphoria (HSTS) and Late Onset Gender Dysphoria (AGP) is that HSTS feel like they are supposed to be female, while AGPS feel like they are supposed to be male.  For HSTS, the desire to be a girl is not distressing because the desire stems from the way they feel internally.  AGPS feel like men internally because they are born with brains that received proper levels of prenatal androgenization.  AGP brains are in alignment with their biological sex, which is why AGPS almost always have an innate heterosexual orientation.

Human beings fetishize things that are taboo because taboo things are associated with distressing emotional states, such as guilt, shame, humiliation, embarrassment and disgust.  "Distressing" is another way of saying "anxiety provoking".  Anxiety is the dualistically polarized version of arousal; anxiety is dysphoric, while arousal is euphoric.  The desire to be a girl is distressing for AGPS, in part, because they do not feel like they are female internally.

Fetishes and paraphilias are manifested during childhood.  Distressing emotional states become fetishized because they are difficult for children's underdeveloped brains to process properly.  There are many different reasons why a little boy - with a male gender identity - might want to be a girl, and the majority of these reasons are related to gender roles and the different social dynamics that are placed on males and females.  Examples of these dynamics include: being envious of the way adults interact with girls vs. boys, or the ways girls interact with each other vs. the way boys interact with each other, or the types of clothing and activities that are primarily available to girls vs. the types of clothing and activities primarily available to boys etc.  

Males are being socialized in a society where the patriarchy is in direct opposition to the modern feminist movement, creating an environment where women are either seen as equals to men, or second class citizens, depending on who you ask.  These contradicting philosophies are both pervasive throughout today's world.  Male socialization encourages participation in a competition for dominance in the male hierarchy, and wanting to be a girl is seen as a weakness or flaw.  At the same time, there are many things that are deemed as feminine, only available for girls, and considered "off-limits" to boys.  Boys are attracted to femininity and feminine things; it isn't difficult to understand why a boy might want to be a girl, in order to have access to the world of femininity that is off limits for them. 

The contradicting attitudes towards women, resulting from feminism vs. the patriarchy, interacts with the socialization of boys in such a way that cognitive dissonance is becoming commonplace.  Girls are granted access to a world of fun, feminine accessories that boys are cut off from.  Boys are socialized to be dominant, which makes the desire to be a girl distressing (anxiety-provoking arousal that feels dysphoric).  Male heterosexuality makes it very easy for the child's brain to transmute this dysphoric arousal into euphoric arousal, by processing the emotions sexually, which is a hardwiring that eroticizes their desire to be a girl.  At the time this occurs - years before the onset of puberty - it simply feels euphoric to imagine being a girl.   

I've noticed a lot of AGPS are confused by this explanation because the thought of being a girl has always felt pleasurable to them, for as long as they can remember, going far back into their childhood.  What needs to be understood is that the initial desire was distressing, which caused the brain to process the distress sexually, by fetishizing the reason behind the distress: the desire to be a girl.

The reason I am explaining all of this is because I believe it is necessary to understand if one wants to reduce AGP desires without transitioning.  The actual cause of the AGP needs to be understood.  The reason that AGP is so distressing is that the distress is the reason that AGP is so arousing.  AGP fantasies revolve around the guilt and shame associated with being a girl and forced feminization fantasies are so popular because they are a way of giving the feelings of guilt and shame a euphoric and arousing context.

AGP is so difficult to manage because being horny makes the guilt and shame feel euphoric, which causes one to amplify those feelings to their maximum states.  Once orgasm is reached and the horniness has subsided, the guilt and shame associated with AGP feel incredibly dysphoric.  This distress is the same distress which spawned AGP to begin with, and it's source is feeling guilty and ashamed of being a boy who wants to be a girl.

In this modern day and age of trans acceptance we can see the following things taking place: young AGPS can transition and then claim to be HSTS because they never reached the point of having sex with a woman and their meta-attraction gives them the gay-card to play.  They even go into online forums and talk shit about how they are HSTS and not AGP.  We also see many AGPS who are older transitioning, as a way to escape the distress of being AGP.

There is a misconception that HRT lowers the libido and makes AGP decrease and become less distressing. The HRT is not causing this effect; transitioning into a woman makes some AGP males feel significantly less distress about becoming aroused at the thought of being a woman.  While there isn't necessarily anything wrong with this, it can also be used as a crutch, or copium, which may not work out in the long term.  We can all see that most AGP trans women are still very distressed about being AGP, and they use their trans status as a crutch, to deny the existence of AGP altogether.

If that is what you want to do, then by all means, go ahead and do so.  If you would rather accept reality for what it is then continue reading.

What needs to be understood is that AGP is distressing when you feel guilty and ashamed of being a guy who wants to be a woman sexually.  Here at r/askAGP we talk about something called integrating your AGP into your male identity.  If you can make yourself feel less guilty and ashamed of being AGP then it will lose some of its power over you.  If you can allow yourself to explore these desires as a man, and understand that it doesn't mean you are actually a woman, you will feel less distressed.  There's no wrong way to be a man, man.  Maybe one day you will even be able to project your AGP fantasies onto your girlfriend - and I don't mean by imagining that you are your girlfriend - I mean by making her dress in a very hyper-feminizing, sexual way, and getting off on how distressing it would be for her, if everyone knew how much of a slut she was.  In other words: using your AGP to make her the object of your desire.  That's what she wants, anyway.  I'm not so sure that's what anyone reading this wants, though, but it's just a suggestion, anyway; if it doesn't appeal to you, just fuggeddaboutit, eh?  Stop reading these words now.