Annoying Girly Problems (TheAGPrick)

 

Annoying Girly Problems

I sure hope that I don't cry again today.

Hello everyone, and welcome to another installment of "Oh hey, it's that weird and annoying guy who tries too hard to be funny and posts all this outdated gender theory bullshit that has been debunked for decades. Gee, I feel kind of bad for this guy he seems a bit out of touch with reality" Alright, alright - I think I've made myself clear about my feelings towards the guy who writes these weird ass posts, and if I have any issues with that then we can meet myself in the bathroom after third period English class. Sounds good - I'll be there. Anyway, what I was trying to say is that we have a long post about gender theory ahead of us, and y'alls that join me on this journey are some troopers. If you read this whole post, I fucking love you. Well, let me tone that down just a bit... I will let everyone who reads this entire post fuck me... There, that's better - I felt like I was coming on too strong will all that "I love you" jazz.

I. Anatomic AGP Type A = Primary TS /// Anatomic AGP Type B, Transvestic AGP & HSTS = Secondary TS

If you have ever looked at the official diagnostic criteria for Gender Dysphoria, in the DSM-5, you will notice the use of the words "primary" and "secondary" to describe sexual characteristics. Members of the forum who are familiar with my content will probably know that I often refer to an outdated typology of male transsexualism which, similar to Blanchard's typology, places trans women into two main categories; but instead of AGP and HSTS the categories are called Primary and Secondary, similar to the labeling of primary and secondary sex characteristics. Well, a Primary Transsexual is one who mainly desires the primary sex characteristics, but Blanchard took the primary group and split it into two subtypes of AGP: Anatomic and Physiological.

An Anatomic AGP desires the physical female body. I will call the Anatomic AGP who desires having a vagina, aka the primary sex characteristics an Anatomic AGP Type A. Most Anatomic AGPs desire the female body and secondary sex characteristics, but do not desire to have SRS or a vagina; I will call this the Anatomic AGP Type B. Often times, the Anatomic AGP does not indulge in crossdressing, as they do not find it to be fulfilling, and instead find it frustrating.

The Physiological AGP subtype takes the secondary sex characteristics further than the body by desiring certain bodily functions that are specific to the XX female. The functions I refer to are typically pregnancy and the menstrual cycle.

The remaining two subtypes of AGP are Transvestic AGP and Behavioral AGP. What in Heaven's name is Behavioral AGP? Well, it's a category that is completely unnecessary bullshit, if you ask me, because all the other subtypes of AGP include Behavioral AGP. What I am saying is that all AGPs imitate feminine behaviors while indulging in AGP. So really, there are only three subtypes of AGP: Anatomic, Physiological and Transvestic. Really though, there doesn't need to be two distinct subtypes for Anatomic and Physiological, so I will just combine the two into the Anatomic AGP Type B subtype.

So I've condensed Blanchard's four categories of AGP into three categories: Anatomic Type A, Anatomic Type B and Transvestic. Now I will bring back the older typology into the picture of Primary TS and Secondary TS. Back then there were two subtypes of Secondary Transexuals (TS): Transvestic and Homosexual. This translates into my condensed version of Blanchard's typology the following way: Anatomic AGP Type B, Transvestic AGP and HSTS are Secondary TS, leaving Anatomic AGP Type A as Primary TS. Again, this makes sense because Anatomic AGP Type A is concerned with primary sex characteristics, while Anatomic AGP Type B, Transvestic AGP and HSTS are concerned with secondary sex characteristics.

II. Innate Gender Identity vs. Gender as a Social Construct

We really can't move forward with this without addressing the elephant in the room: the HSTS. The HSTS appears to be more along the lines of the teachings of the mainstream trans community, who if I'm not mistaken is currently claiming that gender identity is innate and something that people are born with. Aww... it's like a fairy tale, or something you tell children because the truth would be too much for their fragile, underdeveloped brains to handle. According to the mainstream trans community Prenatal Androgenization is what makes people trans. "Androgenization" is referring to masculinizing chemicals that guide the process of a female infant becoming a male infant, as we all start out as female fetuses (mmm, now I'm hungry).

Please allow me to explain why mainstream gender ideology is mistaken about their claim that "trans people are born that way". Prenatal Androgenization is what causes a boy to be very feminine and a woman to be very masculine. There is also good reason to believe that Prenatal Androgenization has a role in determining sexual orientation, as these feminine boys and masculine girls are typically homosexual. Gender identity, however, has not been proven to be innate, and the whole premise that it could even be something innate in the first place, is absurd. Gender is a label which is applied to a set of roles that we perform, these roles are certainly based on our biological sex, but many of them are also quite flexible, and rather arbitrary (pink being a feminine color, for example). "Gender Identity" is the way that you are socialized as an infant and is based on the way your parents or guardians raised you in relation to your biological sex.

So what about the HSTS? Well, the HSTS isn't trans because of their overly feminine behaviors and mannerisms; the HSTS is trans because of the way they were socialized based on those overly feminine or masculine behaviors and mannerisms. In other words, a little gay boy that is overly feminine will be treated differently than a normal boy, and because the excess femininity of the boy doesn't become prevalent until after infancy, a core male gender identity has been established. This means that most HSTS are like most AGPs in that they are Secondary Transsexuals.

III. Causes of AGP & Contributing Factors

We have learned on this forum that there are very likely to be several causal factors leading to a man becoming AGP (or GAMP).

AGP Causal Factors

• Childhood Emasculation Trauma: In my uneducated and belligerently drunk opinion "Childhood Emasculation Trauma" is a proven pathway towards AGP (and my personal reason for developing AGP). It will be no surprise to anyone that a very effeminate gay boy can be a victim of emasculation trauma, which is a common cause of GAY-GP (no longer just a mythical creature). I believe that one of the aspects of this theory that makes it hard for some people to accept is the word "trauma" itself. Many people assume trauma to necessarily have to be some horribly abusive or painful experience, and this is not always the case - not at all, actually. Childhood trauma is damn near impossible to avoid altogether and this is due to the underdeveloped brains of children. Childhood trauma is describing the emotional trauma associated with a specific event. A very common experience amongst AGPs is that of being dressed up as a girl as a child. This is a form of childhood emasculation trauma, regardless of how one feels about the situation as an adult. For emasculation trauma to be the cause of AGP it certainly has to occur before the onset of puberty, but I personally feel like the age range is even younger than that, perhaps prior to age eight. One note about AGP caused in this way is that it is typically the reason for the Masochistic AGP. Sexual Masochism is a form of autosexuality in and of itself, where an individual is most aroused by their own pain, suffering or humiliation. Ooo, sign me up, Daddy!

• Sexual Imprinting of Childhood Emotional Response to the Thought of Being a Girl: This theory is similar to the emasculation trauma theory above and this is also the typical way which fetishes manifest. Fetishes are almost always related to something society has deemed "taboo" and "a boy who wants to be a girl" is certainly something that can be considered taboo. If we take a foot fetish as an example we can better understand how emotional response underlies fetishes. The typical reaction to caressing and sucking on feet is one of disgust, revulsion and perhaps shame, humiliation and embarrassment. One or more of these emotional responses are typically part of the arousal of foot fetishism. For AGPs who were victims of childhood emasculation trauma, humiliation and embarrassment will typically be the emotional states connected to AGP arousal. For those not into the humiliation aspects of AGP, check out the following group of emotions: shame, disgust, anxiety, guilt These are emotions that you may have related to the thought of being a girl when you were a child. You will know by identifying the emotional state that is connected to your AGP arousal. Fetishes are created by a process of "sexual imprinting" and childhood trauma will often become sexually imprinted as a way for the brain to process the complex emotional trauma via sexual arousal.

• Childhood Jealousy Towards Girls and/or Women: This is something I have heard several times on this forum: someone describing the jealousy they felt because of the way their sister was treated vs. the way they were treated. Perhaps as a boy the punishments received were more severe than the way their sister was punished. The jealousy could also stem from the way girls and women are able to dress, or any other treatment of women seen throughout society or depicted in the media. I am speculating here, but perhaps the jealous boy would imagine what it would be like to be a girl, and perhaps the fact that they even would have such an idea would trigger one of the emotions we talked about in the previous segment as a reaction to their childhood fantasy/daydream of life as a girl. It is worth noting that it is somewhat common for men who act misogynistic at times to come out as trans at some point.

• The Media & Pornography: Oh - that's right - the fucking media. Whether it's Bugs Bunny wearing a dress or the girl transforming into a blueberry from the Willy Wonka movie (which has been previously discussed on this forum), you can always be assured that the media is working diligently at fucking up the minds of children. Speaking of Bugs Bunny, I can only assume that "Furries" must somehow be related to the anthropomorphic animals frequently seen in children's television programming. The T.V. is "telling a vision" and the viewer is the one being "programmed". Instances of boys or men crossdressing or being humiliated and/or emasculated are seen frequently on T.V., and nowadays we have the internet to add to the madness. I recall someone on this forum stating that they believe their AGP was caused by seeing a crossdresser for the first time on YouTube when they were younger. You better believe that the media is one of the biggest causal factors of humanities fetishism as a whole. Pornography is something that is frequently said to have caused AGP, and this doesn't require much explanation to understand how this could happen. Pornography is fucking up society in many ways, one way being men unable to perform sexually with women due to their crippling porn addictions.

Contributing Factors

• Internalized Misandry: AGPs are often accused of being misogynists for their, ahem, colorful depictions of women, but this is not misogyny, this is actually internalized misandry. One question that everyone should ask themselves is about their motivations: Do you want to be a woman, or do you hate being a man?

• Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD): BDD is often present in people who transition, and you will know this when you have a dude that was a hippy for a while, then got a shitload of tattoos and piercings, and then he went to the gym and got ripped, and now he's a woman.

• Incels & Transmaxxing: I'll refer you to Mr. Vintologi for a thorough explanation of this, but essentially it is the idea that ones life will improve by undergoing a MtF transition. Check out r/transmaxxing for more information about this.

• The Presence of Multiple Paraphilias: They say paraphilias group together and this certainly seems to be the case for me. I am a big time exhibitionist and also delve into the adult baby scene. I blame childhood neglect for both of these. Thanks, dad.

• Endocrine Disruptors (ECD's) / Environmental Factors: The fallout from the industrial revolution has led to the environment having a feminizing effect on humanity. ECD's are found in many things, one of which being plastics that we use everyday. Lots of chemicals found in beauty products have ECD's in them and the of course there is Atrazine, the herbicide that is infamous for turning all of the frogs gay. Most of the EU has banned the use of atrazine, but did the US follow their lead? Fuck no, they didn't! The environment is certainly a contributing factor to the feminization (and ultimately sterilization) of mankind. I'm definitely one to take the side of "nurture" in the nature/nurture debate, but I have to give credit to "nature" where credit is due. I'm not sure why they call it "toxic masculinity" when all these environmental toxins seem to be having a feminizing effect. Of course, I'm not a scientist either, and I believe that vaccines cause autism... so you know... read my posts at your own risk.

• Autism: Autism definitely seems to be a factor in becoming trans, but doesn't seem to be a factor in becoming AGP. Hmm...

• Higher Levels of Intelligence & Creativity: I'm joking, you idiot.

IV. Separation Anxiety, Attachment Trauma & The Primary Defense/Fusion Fantasy

Readers of my disjointed ranting will be familiar with the Separation Theory / Fusion Fantasy theory involving infants who experience severe separation anxiety, which leads to what I am calling Attachment Trauma. I believe that Attachment Trauma is very prevalent in our fast paced modern society. What happens is this: babies form a secure attachment to their main caretaker (typically their mother) and around the age of nine months or so an infant will begin to experience separation anxiety whenever their mother leaves the room. Now, when their mother, who the infant has formed a secure attachment to, leaves the child for an extended period of time the infant will experience so much anxiety that attachment trauma occurs. I believe this is happening to infants on a regular basis these days and it is a serious problem that nobody is addressing.

Story time: I have a son who just had his first birthday this month. He has a very secure attachment to his mother and whenever she steps out of view my son begins to panic. This is separation anxiety. I work full-time and my son does not have a secure attachment to me, so when his mother leaves only me with him, he will begin freaking out and crying and there is nothing I can do. I suspect that many parents will take this personally, but I do not whatsoever because I understand why my son is upset - and it isn't because "he just doesn't like me, I guess" - it is because he needs to be with his mother. Now, what I have realized is that we are so lucky because we are total fuck-ups and needed to move in with my parents. This seems bad to the uniformed citizen, but it is actually a blessing for my sons development and well-being, because over the last year my son also developed a secure attachment to his grandmother. This means that my lady and I can go out on a date and my son will be perfectly fine staying at home with his grandma.

The problem with our society - and I am just speculating about this - is that most infants only develop a secure attachment to one person. Look at our society: both parents working and leaving an infant at a daycare center or with a nanny. What if one day that nanny who has taken care of your baby for several months decides to quit? We are not realizing the havoc that situations like this can cause on an infant's developing mind. We really just need to stop traumatizing the shit out of ourselves already, but that is a conversation for another time.

The Fusion Fantasy or The Primary Defense, as it is called in "Separation Theory", is the idea that the infant reacts to the separation anxiety by imagining itself becoming one with it's mother - inseparable from their mother. This idea has been proposed as a casual factor for Primary TS, because it would lead a male infant to believe that they are a female (like their mother) before a core gender identity has been established. I am not claiming that this idea can't also be a cause of AGP, especially because children typically undergo a second period where they experience separation anxiety when they are toddlers. This second phase of separation anxiety might occur after a core gender identity has been established. This is important because I believe that having AGP indicates that a male core gender identity was established at age three.

V. Gender Dysphoria (GD) & Autogynephilia (AGP)

From psychiatry.org:

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) defines gender dysphoria in adolescents and adults as a marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and their assigned gender, lasting at least 6 months, as manifested by at least two of the following:

A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics (or in young adolescents, the anticipated secondary sex characteristics)

A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics because of a marked incongruence with one’s experienced/expressed gender (or in young adolescents, a desire to prevent the development of the anticipated secondary sex characteristics)

A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender

A strong desire to be of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender)

A strong desire to be treated as the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender)

A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender)

In order to meet criteria for the diagnosis, the condition must also be associated with clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

Gender Dysphoria (GD) was previously called Gender Identity Disorder (GID), but some trans people were offended by the word "disorder" because it implies that they are somehow wrong for not feeling like they are their biological sex... or something. Who knows? I personally prefer the name GID because to me it feels like an identity disorder; it is common for transvestites to feel like they are two people at the same time, which is how I feel. I used to always say that I do not experience GD, and only recently did I actually bother to look up the diagnostic criteria for GD from the DSM-5, at which point I realized that I actually do experience GD. Or do I? Do you? Let's find out together, shall we (you can hold my hand if you want to, I don't mind).

First of all, what is a "marked incongruence"? An incongruence occurs when your ideal situation is out of alignment with your actual situation, and in this case the "situation" is "gender". The issue for most AGPs, however, is that this incongruence is not a constant. Most of us feel fine expressing our assigned male gender for the most part, and our incongruence is at the mercy of our libido, which ends up as a sexually driven incongruence. I find it funny when I read a post where the OP is absolutely devastated about having AGP because it isn't part of what they had planned for their life, while also claiming that they do not have GD. Umm... are you sure about that, buddy?

I personally feel like the DSM-5 is being somewhat insincere when it comes to GD. They have combined primary and secondary sex characteristics in such a way that it implies that transitioning is the best treatment for GD for both people who are dysphoric about primary sex characteristics (Anatomic AGP Type A) and people who are dysphoric about secondary sex characteristics (Transvestic AGP, Anatomic AGP Type B). This is misleading to say the least. Note: I know there are some people who experience a mixture of both Anatomic and Transvestic AGP, but the determining factor should be whether or not you derive pleasure and enjoyment from crossdressing, in which case you are a Secondary TS.

One of the diagnostic criteria is the desire to get rid of one's primary and/or secondary sex characteristics. Remember to ask yourself what is more true: your desire to be a woman or your hatred of being a man. I believe that there are people who transition due to BDD, which they are confusing for GD (I believe that this is more common amongst trans men than it is amongst trans women).

Another important thing to recognize is when one is using a fantasy as a coping mechanism. A somewhat common fantasy amongst HSTS is being castrated and/or having a vagina; an important aspect of this fantasy is that they do not wish to be women, but men who have vaginas. Both Transvestic AGPs and HSTS are "Secondary Transsexuals", which means they have an established male core gender identity and that they are able to use coping mechanisms, such as crossdressing, to alleviate GD. The castration fetish is an example of an HSTS coping mechanism, as is relating being a gay bottom to being a woman, sexually. AGP itself is a coping mechanism because one is able to alleviate GD through masturbation. A true "Primary Transsexual" does not experience sexual arousal at the thought of being a woman, which deprives them of using AGP as a coping mechanism for their GD.

Identifying as having AGP is itself a way to alleviate GD, because to be AGP is to be a man who is aroused at the thought of being a woman. This is why AGP is not "normal female sexuality"; women cannot be AGP because a requirement for having AGP is that you are not a woman. For some reason it is quite common to be ashamed at oneself for being AGP. Perhaps this is because it is the shame that is powering the arousal, or perhaps it is feeling guilty for having such an affinity for the soft feeling against the skin that only women's undergarments can provide - literally, a guilty pleasure. Perhaps it is the anxiety that courses throughout the body just thinking about if someone were to walk in on you wearing lingerie, looking in the mirror, applying your lipstick and adjusting your wig. Or maybe it's just being so disgusted with yourself for being such a dirty pervert and fetishizing the experience of being a woman. Feeling so disgusted with themselves that it is just... so... fucking... hot.

Whatever it is, a lot of men simply refuse to believe that AGP and their libidos are fueling the desire to be feminine, which sends them running away, with their tails between their legs, to the trans community, where AGPs are shunned and Blanchard is worse than goddamn Hitler. The trans community will assure you that it is your innate female gender identity that is causing your issues; they will convince you that the person who you are on the inside does not match up with the person you are on the outside. This belief will act as a catalyst for increasing the severity of GD, because now you are convinced that you are a woman in a man's body. My question is this: why on Earth would you choose the beliefs that cause your GD to become worse? Furthermore, what on Earth is the trans community doing preaching a dogmatic gender ideology that is enabling the experience of GD? The Fuck?

VI. Repression vs. Transition vs. Integration

Is anyone still reading this? If you have made it this far, thank you so much! I appreciate that a lot - a whole lot, as a matter of fact, and you will be receiving dick pics in your DMs shortly. They're my pictures, but they're not my dicks... if that makes any sense. Feel free to make requests for different races and thickness of bush/oil content of pubis. Ok, I don't know what that was, but please don't stop reading because of that! OMG I'm so stupid! After I post this, I'm going to bang my head against a wall until I'm unconscious, while wearing full scuba gear please don't stop reading.

The Repression Method

Just to be clear, I'm not going to knock anyone for repressing AGP. I'm not going to say it can't be done; I'm not going to say people haven't done it successfully. I think it is something that crosses everyone's mind at some point and I myself was a "repper" for nearly two decades. You will never see me suggesting repressing to anyone, however, and that is mainly because when you repress your AGP you are repressing a part of your identity. You are not being your authentic self, and you are denying yourself of the possibility of experiencing sexual fulfillment one day - which I consider to be one of the greatest experiences that an AGP can have - but that is simply my opinion, and it is perfectly fine to disagree with me. Some men view their AGP as an annoying inconvenience that doesn't fit in with the life that they desire for themselves, which is certainly understandable, and most men with AGP struggle because it feels so out of place with everything else they desire from life. This is part of what makes AGP a "marked incongruence" in a man's life.

Here's the thing about repression: the desires and impulses to feminize are not going to go away or decrease in intensity with age and a diminishing libido. This is something that we should all know by now, so there really is no excuse anymore for AGPs who choose the repression method; you're welcome to do so, just be prepared to fight this battle until your last fucking breath. One of the most common sentences you will see on r/MtF is this: "My only regret about transitioning is that I didn't do it when I was younger." Why is this such a common feeling amongst trans women who transitioned after age thirty? Well, if they had known that they were ultimately going to waste their twenties fighting and repressing their desires, only to finally realize they weren't ever going away and then deciding to transition anyway... well, that fucking sucks a bit, actually. Imagine wasting your best years fighting a losing battle. Not only your best years, but your best looking years too. The opportunity to see themselves as a hot, young woman (hottest they gonna get, anyway) is a tough pill to swallow, when you end up transitioning anyway. Now you're just a forty year old hon who feels resentment and spiteful everytime they see a young trans woman or even a young sissy. All that being said, the other thing they say is this: "The best decision I ever made was to transition." I'm really not trying to rip on late transitioners here; I'm simply putting out a warning for the young ones.

The Transition Method

There isn't much to say about transitioning that hasn't been said already. There are a lot of young men out there with AGP who seem to be terrified that transitioning is inevitable. Really though, if you ever did end up transitioning it would be something that you want to do, so there really isn't any reason to fear it or freak out about it. That being said, the reason you would want to transition would most likely be due to no longer wishing to fight yourself over it. You don't need to freak out about transitioning being inevitable, but you do need to take action now if you do not want to face the possibility of transitioning in the future.

Repression and transition are the two extreme ends of the spectrum. They are two options akin to a dualistic black and white worldview, and I know that most of the people in this forum have figured out that the best solution is typically in the grey area. Guys with AGP usually feel just fine living as their AGAB for the most part. AGP comes and goes, with a variance in it's intensity. What I am getting at here is that transition is like a full-time solution to a part-time problem... which sounds like a problem, in and of itself.

A lot of AGPs feel their AGP desires lose the grip they once had over them after beginning HRT, which is blatant evidence that AGP is a sexual condition of some kind. Some AGPs are relieved by the AGP fading away, and they actually transition to accomplish this. Many times have I sensed the relief in someone's writing as they explain that the AGP went away after starting their transition and taking hormones. I suppose it all depends on what the goal is for each individual, and I would personally be upset about losing my AGP sexual desires, so I plan to avoid transitioning. I also don't want to uproot my whole identity and start a new life. Others might want to do exactly that.

This forum's stance on transitioning has always been that it should be an absolute last resort after all other options have failed to help. We are not against transitioning, but we are against the idea that transitioning is the best treatment for GD, or that transitioning is the only option a person has, or that transitioning is inevitable. We are against the peer pressure to transition that is rampant in other trans-related subreddits, and some of us (meee!) believe that gender ideology has become a set of dogmatic beliefs that have the potential to inflict harm upon people and also can damage them.

A big issue that encourages transition is FOMO (the fear of missing out). This is an understandable fear to have, especially after reading my opinions about the fate of those who choose the repression method. This is very confusing; if repression is a bad idea because it typically ends up with transitioning anyway, only several agonizing years later, after so much struggling and stress caused by GD then why shouldn't one just transition ASAP, in their early twenties, if it is going to happen anyway? At least they will get to enjoy their youth as a woman that way? Right?

Surely it must be true that transition is the best choice for some AGPs, while it also must be true that most AGPs do not need to transition and shouldn't transition, for that matter. That being said, AGPs also should never feel guilty about wanting to transition and they should never be made to feel like they shouldn't transition because they are AGPs and it is wrong for AGPs to transition. Remember that there is no such thing as a "true transsexual"; there are only lots of people transitioning for lots of different reasons and out of all those reasons AGP appears to be the only one that is hardwired into the brain and permanent. In my opinion AGPs have the most legitimate reason to transition - and no, it isn't a fetish - it is a Gender Identity Disorder combined with a Paraphilic Disorder.

Overall I believe that transition should be avoided at all costs, simply because the cost of transitioning is so high. There are so many young people transitioning right now, voluntarily sterilizing themselves, and not thinking clearly because their minds aren't even finished developing yet. Visit r/detrans and r/actualdetrans to read about some of the consequences that individuals who came to regret transitioning are faced with. The current insane trend of allowing anyone to medically transition - and, in many cases, "medical professionals" are suggesting and encouraging young, confused people to medically transition - is not something I would want to get caught up in. You don't want to be another "trender", do you?

The Integration Method

What many of the people who make up the r/askAGP community have come to realize is that the best solution to all of this is to neither repress AGP altogether, nor is it to medically transition into a full-time whore. The best treatment for many of us here has been to integrate our femininity with our male gender identity. This is the middle ground, where there is no rejection of the feminine (repression) or rejection of the masculine (transition) but instead the acceptance of both the feminine and the masculine. This is certainly the way to arrive at the most complete version of oneself.

This is something that is done on one's own individual terms. You can integrate your feminine gender into your life whatever way you wish. Some choose to grow out their hair, but I choose to keep mine short. I also like the way I look as a man much more with a beard, so I only shave it when I want to fully dress up. I keep up on shaving all my body hair, I wear chastity frequently and I wear panties or briefs almost exclusively. The point is to find a way where you can satisfy the needs of your AGP without giving up being a man to do so. There is no need to do this, despite what others might want you to believe. Integration might involve crossdressing and embracing secondary female sex characteristics, or it might involve taking HRT and developing breasts and softer skin, while still presenting socially as a man. Integration is all about what works for you, and there is no right or wrong way to do it.

There is a fantastic essay located on the sidebar of this forum called "The Transvestite's Career Path" which I highly recommend reading. I believe it was written in the 1970's, but this guy gets it down so well, and he described my experience with such accuracy that it was almost frightening. According to the essay, the path of the transvestite reaches it's end when the female identity has been revealed and given a name, which usually takes place sometime during the late twenties to early thirties (although it is likely occuring at an even younger age these days).

I read this essay shortly after I had fully feminized for the first few times and given my female persona a name. I mentioned earlier that I repressed my desire to feminize myself for almost twenty years, simply because I was too afraid to "let go" enough to do it. After I turned thirty, I had a realization that I didn't want to miss out on seeing myself as a woman while I was still young. I already felt terrible for losing my twenties to fear and repression. I experienced the "FOMO" that often drives people to transition sooner rather than later. Had I kept repressing until my forties, I can't even imagine how pent up and uncomfortable I would feel. I believe that repressing AGP until middle age would have likely driven me to a late transition as well; I understand why it happens. Staying at the extreme end of total repression for so long causes the AGP desires to keep building up, and when you finally can't take it anymore and give up, it quite literally sets you off like a rocket, and you will want to be fully immersed in femininity and being a woman. Rejecting your masculinity would feel amazing, I'm sure.

I am a huge proponent of using crossdressing as an alternative treatment for transitioning. Of course, not everyone finds crossdressing to be fulfilling, but for those that do, it is a great way to see yourself as a young woman and have that experience. I am talking about fully feminizing yourself, because that is essentially how you would look if you transitioned, anyway. If you do not pass at all, you probably never will - and no amount of medical intervention is going to change that.

AGP is a romance that you have with yourself as a woman. This sounds crazy, and I don't know why this happens, but this is what it is. You become infatuated with the "girl version" of you, and in my opinion the best thing you can do for yourself is allow yourself the time to get fully feminized and experience being her. When you do this, take lots of pictures. I will take maybe one hundred pictures during a night of dress-up and end up with perhaps ten that are keepers. My phone is full of pictures of me as a girl. I have hundreds of pictures which I have a great time editing and posting online in order to receive male validation. I absolutely love it.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, I plan on using these pictures to stay connected to my female identity, and I will not experience the regret of not living as a young woman because I didn't transition. The crossdressing is damage control, which will work to help me to keep feeling fine in the future. Perhaps you don't understand why this is so important to me, but it is just something I suggest that has worked for me. I also need to add that crossdressing is not helpful for every AGP and for some it can actually work as a catalyst for going overboard and becoming obsessive about self-feminization and satiating the AGP beast.

Well, that's probably enough for now. Thanks for reading and remember to be kind to yourself. -prick-

Source: Ethel Spector Person and Lionel Ovesey  (Primary Transsexual Typology / Separation Anxiety & The Fusion Fantasy / Core Gender Identity)  Robert W. Firestone (Separation Theory & The Primary Defense aka Fantasy Bond)  Ray Blanchard (AGP/HSTS Typology) H. Taylor Buckner "The Transvestic Career Path"

tl;dr

Transphobia, probably

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