Desire is the Root of all Suffering (TheAGPrick)





 Desire is the Root of all Suffering

The second noble truth in Buddhism is that "desire is the root of all suffering" and some people interpret this as the need to stop desiring things and living in a very minimal way. There are many different schools of thought within Buddhism, and some of them teach about there being two different types of desire: unskillful desire, which is the bad kind of pleasure seeking desire, and skillful desire, which is the desire to learn or become more disciplined and skilled. Instead of the unskillful desire for pleasure, skillful desire is the desire to put hard work into something in order to build greater satisfaction by living a more productive and meaningful life.

There are some Buddhists who believe that craving is the worst form of unskillful desire. A drug addict is constantly craving drugs because they want to feel better than they do in that current moment. The desire to feel better is actually what is creating the suffering for that drug addict in that moment. Instead of focusing on the fact that they truly don't feel that bad in that moment as they are making themselves believe they feel (and yes, acute withdrawals feel absolutely terrible, but let's just ignore that right now for the sake of this example), they are instead focusing on how they could feel better and this is - if nothing else - greatly increasing the intensity of the experience of suffering.

A lot of people are experiencing gender dysphoria right now for the same reason that the drug addict is experiencing dysphoria: because they are fixated on their desire to feel better. Instead of using drugs to feel better, they are focusing on why being the opposite gender would feel better. Gender dysphoria is an unskillful, pleasure seeking desire, being driven by the focus on what you don't have, instead of the focus on what you do have.

There are Buddhists who believe that the way out of the reincarnation cycle is by ending suffering thru the process of ceasing the desire to feel better or to stop desiring pleasure-seeking, unskillful experiences. Like all religions, Buddhism is setting a trap by making people believe that ending suffering and therefore balancing out their karma will set them free. Christianity is setting a similar trap, where you need to be a good person to experience something better after death. These religions make many people believe that they have to improve themselves to get to a certain level where they are good enough to be saved by forces beyond their understanding. While it's good to desire skillful accomplishments that will help you improve yourself, it isn't good to always be feeling like you need to improve yourself because you aren't good enough. If you believe that you aren't good enough, then you ain't getting saved or freed from jack shit. The true way out of the reincarnation cycle is thru understanding, and a big part of that understanding is the understanding that we aren't here now, in this cycle, because it is helping us to improve ourselves. We are here because there are external factors very invested in keeping us trapped in the reincarnation cycle for the purpose of being used as their energy source.

You need to understand that you're good enough just the way you are and you always have been, and you are only manifesting your own suffering by having the desire to be something else that you have deemed to be "better than" what you are now. If you would instead focus on expressing gratitude for the things you do have instead of expressing negativity and desire for the things you don't have you would realize that what you had all along was just fine, and there was no need to desire to be something better. This same reasoning can be applied to so many things, such as your financial and employment situation, and feeling terrible because of all the great things other people are doing on social media; these other people on social media are chasing the dragon, just like junkies, too.

Express gratitude for the things you do have, such as the ability to experience both feminine and masculine gender expressions right now, just the way you are, simply by forgetting about your biological sex and your assigned gender at birth for a moment and integrating both the feminine and masculine into the person that you are. Remember the Jungian perspective that is preached in this community: by integrating new, previously unrecognized aspects of yourself into the person you are, you will continue to grow into a more whole version of yourself. Remember, the most important part is understanding, and the divine spark within you already understands all of it; you just need to remember that.

There is a third type of desire, and I'm honestly not sure what the Buddhists have to say about it, but it is the desire of necessity. An example of this would be the desire to eat food because you are hungry, and the state of intense hunger is a state of suffering. The desire of necessity makes suffering a necessary and inevitable part of this experience. So while it is important to try to avoid the desire for unskillful and unnecessary things, it is also important to understand and accept that some degree of suffering is needed.

What about the desire to be loved? This is not an unskillful desire, but a desire of necessity. We need to be loved by others and have connections with other people, and our sexual energy is the expression of our divine creative energy. Putting this all together, I know that AGP is a necessary part of my sexuality and sexual expression, while I also know that the best way to experience and express my sexuality is with the woman I love. Not by jerking off to porn and wasting my potential, but by making love to my partner, a woman who I am grateful for, because her expression of femininity is so much better than mine will ever be in this life, and instead of being upset and feeling jealous about that, I am grateful to be able to be present and experience her.

That's why I don't masturbate anymore, and I emasculate myself by putting my cock in a cage, shaving my body and wearing the girliest panties I can find, and then sexually worshipping my partner - a real, actual woman - and making her orgasm several times and then being denied and humiliated by her. This is what I truly want and what makes me happy, and it makes her happy to make me happy. Obviously this isn't for everyone, but the point is that you should actually go out there and experience your sexual desires in real life, as the person you are. There probably isn't the need to transition and completely change your entire identity just to have a sexually fulfilling experience that is temporary, but really having the experience is far superior than continuously masturbating while thinking about having the experience, which is the equivalent of desiring pleasures and creating the experience of suffering unnecessarily. You are only exacerbating your experience of suffering by remaining locked in a masturbatory prison of shame. By actually experiencing your sexual desires, you will be fulfilling a desire of necessity, which will alleviate both your gender dysphoria and your AGP fueled libido, because you will feel the experience of satisfying your needs.

TL;DR

This community supports and promotes an alternative method of alleviating gender dysphoria. Feeling negativity towards your AGP fueled desires is the repression of your feminine gender expression, while transitioning MtF is the repression of your masculine gender expression. By allowing yourself to experience both genders, you are practicing the integration of different aspects of yourself, which will allow you to improve and grow into yourself as a whole person. Understanding that unskillful desire is the root of unnecessary suffering will help you realize why gender dysphoria is often the experience of chasing the same dragon that a heroin junkie is chasing to get high (and you can trust me about that, because I am a heroin junkie). Instead of desiring to feel better by having the things you don't have, express gratitude and appreciation for the things you do have. The achievement of experiencing what you desire sexually in real life might be more fulfilling than the desire to become somebody else in real life. I mean, don't you want the sex your having to be the hottest sex imaginable? Or no, that's right, you would rather be vanilla and heteronormative... because that's super fun.

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